The month of May wasn’t even far gone before the gbas gbos on the relationship channel started. One thing about Nigerians is that we love a good take on relationships especially being friends with an ex and how they should be.

For this series, we picked one of the screenshots prof Awe posted on the relationship channel(the image above), we found it interesting and think we should delve more into it by interviewing two members of the ATL website team and hear their take on it.

Olushola: What do you think about the situation above?

Samuel: It’s weird and unnecessary. Imagine a random number texting me a week before my wedding telling me congratulations. If the relationship was shaky, that action could ruin a lot.

Omowummi: hmm… Actually, I think what the person did is not wrong. For her to think of congratulating the fiancee means she has good intentions. I’m trying to look at it from a point of good intentions. She is not just going about it the right way. Since she is on talking terms with the ex, why not go congratulate him? Shebi she is friends with her ex not the fiancee. If I was in the fiancee’s position, it would be weird to me also. Do you really mean this or you are just doing Ojuaye(high service)??

Olushola: There’s some sort of agreement here. Do you think it was right for the fiancee to block her?

Samuel: Ermm.. first off, people have different reactions to things. Personally, I would ignore it. But I think in her way, she might be right because she might feel threatened. Blocking her meant she didn’t like the move the girl made. Maybe the guy never mentioned this ex to her and a random number is texting like “I once dated this person, congratulations”.

Omowummi: Well, people read different meanings to actions. The fiancee might be feeling insecure, hence, the blocking. She might be reading negative meaning into the action. Why is she choosing to reach out to the fiancee? The fiancee though should have questioned it before taking action. Like, “Thank you very much for your message, I hope there’s no problem?”

Olushola: People do see things differently. You guys have varying opinions. Is it bad to be happy for your ex?

Samuel: It’s not bad to be happy for your ex. But if you are happy for your ex, text your ex! It’s like jumping from Lagos to Katangwa. Though, the context here is not very clear.

Omowummi: if you are happy for your ex, text your ex!!!

Olushola: I agree with that thought. Let’s create a different scenario here, what if they parted because they aren’t comfortable but they are still on good terms?

Samuel: The first question I will ask is, as she texted the ex? She could have asked for permission to text the fiancee, if the permission is granted, then fine. But if they go ahead before seeking permission, and the fiancee came to ask that someone random texted her. If it’s me, I will first shepe for my ex, you want to scatter my marriage.

Omowummi: Even if they parted on a good note, as long as one of them is with another person, I don’t think it is wise to remain friends. It can cause unnecessary things like this.

Olushola: Hmm… I’m taking notes here. Last question, can you remain friends with your ex?

Samuel: Well, I am friends with a lot of my exes…

Omowummi: I can’t remain friends with my ex! 

Olushola: Ha! Samuel, a lot is giving 24 exes! Do you both care to explain?

Samuel: Haba! Let’s say I am friends with most of my ex. I won’t disagree that it’s wrong to remain friends. But it doesn’t just bother me. I easily let things go as long as you are not messing with my energy. You can even have flashbacks when you converse, but just because I have flashbacks doesn’t mean we have to get back together.

Omowummi: Hmm.. The kind of friendship here isn’t casual, like calling me three times a week is too much. Proximity sponsors affection. What friendship are you keeping in the first place? But Casual relations like once in a while hi aren’t bad.

Olushola: thank you so much folks, it was interesting talking to you guys.

Do you have an opinion about situations like this? Can you remain friends with your ex? Are you friends with your ex? Would you like to be interviewed? Reach out to the content team or the relationship channel and we will schedule you for the next series.